Leadville 100: No, I’m not There

My friends Loïc and Jen are running the Leadville 100 starting tomorrow. Long, long ago, they asked me to be a member of their pacer posse. Of course I said “of course!”

Well, I’m regrettably not in Colorado right now. Injury and some other whackadoodle circumstances have gotten in the way. The biggest regret I have is that I know they will both finish the race and burst into tears- and I won’t be there to take pictures of it!

Best of skill and daring, my friends! You’re both tough enough for this run, thanks to this cray summer. Grab a lock of flowing Running Jesus hair and enjoy the ride!

Ragnar Northwest Passage – Part II: Why do I Run? Slap Bracelet

The setting: Blaine to Whidbey Island, Washington.

The Team: Twin*, Yuliya, Jan, Adam, Eric, Luca, Tatyana, Megan, Twin II*.
*Isaac or Sloan

I know it’s been a long time.  I usually blog on the bus and I’ve been riding my bike lately.  I’m a terrible blog-mother…

We last left off at an impending divorce in the Greene family.  SPOILER ALERT: No divorce.  Just a separation.  A week-long separation that is now thankfully over.

Eric is attacked during his first leg.

Ragnar was amazing, fun, painful.  I was NOT in shape for it, in true Noob style.

I was runner 11, which was pretty cool because there were only 10 of us. Basically, I didn’t get to run until well into the afternoon, and by that time, I had convinced myself that I was an elite athlete.  This seems like a wild conjecture taking into account that I hadn’t run since my escape from Muskrat to try to heal my troubled paw.  I was also blissfully ignorant of the crazy ass hills that lurked on my legs of the course, despite having stared at the leg profiles for hours.

Ragnar is a deadly slap-bracelet relay. In a daring move, the company decided that the lethal weapon-toy of my childhood had a place in this event.  Of course we could barely contain our excitement.  Why do I run?  Slap bracelet.

Our team was especially equipped to deal with slap bracelet. We had a slap bracelet’s worst nightmare – TWINS!  (My test reading of this to Eric was less than successful.  He didn’t think this was funny or even “get” it.  Let’s just move on.)

Sleepy Isaac and Sloan! (Or is it Sloan and Isaac?)

By the time I actually got slapped, the bracelet had been through three iterations of twin, so it was pretty docile.  Eric was the lucky slapper. He ran up to me, kissed me, and the crowd vomited.  He then slapped my outstretched arm and the crowed cheered!  I was on my way.

The approach.

The crowd vomits.

The crowd (3 to 4 members of our team) roars!

And I’m off!

Let’s get a second angle on the cockiness.

LIKE WHOA I went out way too fast.  My heaving immediately ripped my diaphragm and snapped a few ribs and I was back to high school cross country side aches.  My aching sides and I flew past two runners, spraying them with bloody saliva.  They, of course, both immediately passed me on the first uphill, whilst laughing.

This was the happiest I have ever been to see someone.

Jan sets off to make up some of the time I lost!

Let’s talk about hills.  I’ve been actively running hills to become less of a wimp.  My only victory of this weekend was my steadfastness on my hills- I didn’t walk a single bit of hill, which I really think we should refer to hereafter as mountains considering we were in Washington.  I’m proud of this, especially because I was enduring some serious pain at the end of the race.

This is Adam! Noob lab followers might know Adam as the bloodiest guy of the rock climbing posse.

While each of us ran, the other 9 vanned their way to the next exchange to await the slap-off, take funny pictures, and admire costumes.  Eric and I were always on the hunt for espresso and I was lucky to win a dollar off our collassal iced americano by guessing the correct answer to the following trivia:

What is the softest portion of skin on the human body?

The eyelid, you sickos!! (I know this because I like to schmear mine with makeup every day)

Oh yeah, there were also 6 new faces to befriend! Well… 5. Because two were identical.  I’m sure they’ll appreciate these completely Twinist remarks.

Possibly the most adorable photo ever taken of Adam, Jan and Eric together!

Oh, Say! Can you see?

Nightfall brought on many scandalous and highly reflective ensembles.

Lotsa fun went down as we ran through the day, into the night, out of the darkness and into the… Cloudy glow of dawn. We finished after 30 hours and 37 minutes, 200 miles behind us.

The end. Right before we each drank an entire beer.

AAANNNND I haven’t ran since.  My trouble foot, ol’ Righty, has been a complete diva biotch to be around.  I have a marathon coming up in October, people, and barely enough weeks to get the mileage in.  According to my grand plan, I should be back up to 10 mile long runs by now.  Wish me luck.  Stay tuned.

Eric and Jan… sponsored by Ragnar.

Ragnar Northwest Passage – Part I: Trouble in Paradise

A few months ago, I emphatically cried, “YES!” to Yuliya’s, “wanna be on my Ragnar relay team in Washington State in July?”

The timeframe was midst-high-mileage marathon training runs so Ragnar sounded great. Any running that was not 18 miles at a time on the Towpath in solidarity sounded amazeballs. Eric rolled his beautiful blues and tried to change the subject to mountain biking.

Ragnar relays are a series within the States. They are long and well organized. Just how I like my coffee. They have slick websites and cool gear you can buy!

Yuliya is to Ragnar as Eric is to bike. I will spare you the X-rated details. Her choice, the Northwest Passage, was particularly appealing to moi, as I will take any opportunity to visit this region, which has managed to elude me for life thus far.

I never expected the turmoil this innocent little relay would cause within my marriage. I’m not sure I’ve mentioned how much Eric despises the idea of having to pay to run. He thinks it’s the dumbest idea since… I don’t know… beard maintenance! And traveling with the specific goal of paid running is a whole new level of dumb. What can I say, except, “you married it?”

Despite two layers of dumb, we are pretty cool with supporting each other in our desires and pursuits and Eric was, at this point, just eye-rollin’ with it. UNTIL I manipulated him into joining the team. I used my cutest voice and whiniest whine and within seconds he was in. He only realized a few hours later what a grave mistake he had made. Layer 3, ladies and gentlemen.

I had delayed Ragnar logistics long enough to make using our stockpile of free flights impossible, and now we had 2 flights and 2 entry fees to pay for! We were well over $1K for an event that Eric despised. And I was in deep shit.